You've Got a Friend in Me

With my friend Sylvia, and my Uganda Cranes Jersey :)

Well, it’s time for the World Cup. All I can say is: Where are you, Uganda, where are you?
I went to the bank today, wearing my Uganda Cranes soccer jersey. This was the conversation I had with the bank teller:

Teller: [observing the jersey] Oh! Are they in the tournament?
Me: No. Well, I don’t know. I don’t follow that. I just really like Uganda!
Teller: Do you have family or friends there?
Me: Yeah. A lot of friends.

It was interesting that he never asked further, because my last response just begs the question of “how did that happen?!” One friend? okay, no big deal. But to have a lot of friends in a small African country 9,000 miles away? There’s probably an interesting story behind that.

So let me tell you!!!

Although I am living in Arizona, I still have one foot in Uganda. I don't think a day goes by when I do not think of my family there; indeed, many of my activities here are done with them in mind. And I receive emails from Ugandan friends weekly.

Since I returned, I have met with a University professor to discuss current models of bilingual education and tips for teaching students who are English language learners. I have been sending ideas to St. Anthony’s as I come across teaching tips and fun ways to structure activities in the classroom to help promote English language development. In addition, I met with Mark Hart to discuss Bible study resource ideas for one of the Holy Trinity members who has just begun an adult bible study at the Community in Bisanje.  

 

On the other side of things, Paul has begun planting passion fruits at St. Anthony, in order to harvest and sell them to support the school and his family.

 

Students helping to plan passion fruit seeds

He works incredibly hard, even closing off a room at the school in order to sleep on site and oversee the progress of the projects there.



P.6 classroom, closed off to create a sleeping area

Although they have lost at least 30 students due to a new school opening nearby, they continue their daily labor of love for each of the 100+ who still faithfully attend St. Anthony’s. 

Students with a visiting religious sister, Sr. Mary Lydia

Paul and Mary send me continual updates on how things are going at home and at school, including pictures and handwritten letters from their children and students. I love reading what they have written and seeing their little faces! I receive emails from priests and other friends telling me of challenges they are facing, reasons they are discouraged, and intentions they need me to lift up in prayer. And they pray for my intentions as well: for a new job, for my family's health, for discernment, even for one of our teens, Stephen, as he battles Leukemia.

Even though my Ugandan brothers and sisters are so far away, they are very close, and the affection in their words shows me that they still feel close to me as well. This kind of love and affection means a great deal.

This kind of love is transformational.

I did not go to Uganda with a whole bunch of money and build a new school for these students. I did not show up with thousands of pounds of rice and beans and feed the street children of Nyendo. I did not come with 50 free Bibles to hand out. No. I just came as I was, and I wanted to get to know them as they were. I did not come to teach; I came to learn. And what I learned is this: It is Paul who is building a new school for his students, little by little, one passion fruit and one brick at a time. It is Moses who feeds the street children of Nyendo, regularly giving them cups of porridge, or a small coin, or a word of encouragement, even when this requires him to "give all he has" [see Mk 12:44]. And it is Jude who is sharing the Word of God, even though he is not an Scripture scholar or a "Bible geek." If I arrogantly came to the country assuming it was my duty to do these tasks, I could put these others out of a job, or inadvertently demean them or take away their personal initiative. It is the people of Uganda who can, must, and do develop their country and build the Kindgom of God by their tireless and passionate service to His people.

Then what can I do?

I wanted to be able to do something for the people of Uganda, something sustainable, something meaningful, something that would really help them. The answer: friendship.

Friendship is more than just throwing a bunch of money or "stuff" at someone and imagining that it will make their life better. Friendship is more than wishing someone well or offering a short prayer for someone when they are suffering, but then returning to your comfortable life without giving them a second thought. 

A true friend allows the other into his life, his heart. He allows the other's joys and sorrows to move him, to pierce his heart, and he even desires to share those experiences with him, to walk with him, to support him, to encourage him, to suffer with him, and to celebrate with him. A true friend loves, and my favorite definition of love is this: "To love is to will the good of another, and to take effective steps to secure it" (Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI).

And as we know, "Greater love has no man than this: to lay down one's life for one's friends" (John 15:13).

Let me tell you, it is easier to give a donation and walk away than to commit yourself to a person, to a community. It costs more to give yourself.

But the poor (be they in Africa or in your own backyard) do not need benefactors as much as they need friends. And, don't be mistaken, we need their friendship as much as they need ours.