You are Good to Me

The long-awaited P5 stick hockey rematch

So I have now been in Uganda for more than two months. I am entering the homestretch, but there is still much to do and discover. It seems the Lord is not done with me yet. Last time, I posted some glory stories.

Well, sometimes consolations help to prepare you for desolations… J

This weekend, there was something I was looking forward to very much, something I thought would be a great opportunity. Instead, it was bittersweet. In fact, I cried myself to sleep. Then I awoke before my alarm, still dispirited, and instead of dwelling on the hurt, I began to softly sing:

You are good to me, good to me.
You are good to me, good to me.
You are good to me.

The song was written by Audrey Assad, during a time when her husband had been recently diagnosed with cancer. In other words, it is a song praising God’s goodness and faithfulness in trial and pain.

It was raining this morning so, rather than going to daily Mass, I made my holy hour at home. I cried and I prayed, and I told God why I was angry with Him, and it was good…but it was not over. Even at school, I had to slip away one time (to the latrine, of all places!) and allow myself to cry and tell the Lord how I felt. And He helped me to accept that this has nothing to do with the person who I feel hurt by or angry at, but everything to do with the fact that this is all in God’s plan. And He is good to me.

There is nothing that cheers me like a child. When I come to school sad because I am missing friends or there is some pain in my heart, they bid me to forget it. I find them giggling and smiling and trying to poke me. They look at me with their bright little faces and want me to teach them something new. We had our hockey rematch with the P5 class today, and as promised, I captured some video footage. As well, one of the P7 students came to me after school and said, “Auntie, you are the one to give us homework today.” What? Let me get this straight: you WANT homework??? Okay, let it be done. As I wrote their English homework on the board, they spoke Luganda to me and asked me to speak American English to them. When I returned to Paul and Mary’s house after school, their three year old son was there wanting to play and be tickled, and he was screaming and having a great time. The Lord brings joy even in times of pain, especially when we are willing to still give of ourselves in those times.

So, if there are more tears, let them come. God’s timing is perfect, and with only three weeks left in here in Uganda, He has allowed my heart to be pierced so the graces can continue to flow for this mission. He often saves the best for last. Sometimes we don’t view the Cross as something good, but without the Cross there is no Resurrection. Without suffering there is no glory.

Sometimes desolations help us to appreciate, to receive humbly, the consolations.

“Lord, give us joy to balance our affliction.”
- Ps. 90:15 -

“You have turned our mourning into dancing.”
- Ps. 30: 12 -

Lord, you are good to me, good to me.