Goodbyes

A farewell dinner for me at Holy Trinity Community

St. Therese, as a child, was heartbroken by the fact that this life seems only to be a series of continual goodbyes.

I felt that yesterday morning. When my plane touched down in Amsterdam, I stared to cry. I cried because I suddenly realized that I had left my father in Kitovu. I had left my children in Kalisizo. Indeed, I had left countless friends, new and old, saying, "But when are you coming back?"

Yet, three months ago, I was crying because I didn't want o leave my children in Chandler, or the teens and CORE at St. Tim's, or my friends and family.

It seems I have come to know one of the bittersweet realities of mission life: To live in a foreign land affords me the beautiful opportunity to know and love many more people than I otherwise would, but it also means having to leave people I know and love, both in the beginning and at the end.In a way, it is necessary to say goodbye to one place in order to prepare to settle in to the other. Otherwise, I would be continually homesick. But it is a painful process.

Such is life. Life is a mission. As such, life affords us with the beautiful opportunity to know and love many people, but it also presents us with a series of goodbyes. It is painful because we love, but somehow it is necessary to say goodbye, to help us detach little by little from this earthly place, so we can prepare to settle in to our true Heavenly Homeland.

Heaven is going to be so awesome! Time and space will no longer separate us from all the people we love. I can run and throw me arms around my dear Saint Alphonsus just as easily as I can dine with all my other priest-papas from around the world. I will find my children all grown up and marvel at the good things God has done through them. I will love my friends and family perfectly, and find that my heart is overflowing with love for the countless others I never even knew in this life. May God, in His mercy, allow me one day to experience that joy!

I want to thank all of you who have prayed for me and for this mission these past few months. As you have been reading, God has been pouring out many graces upon so many people, including myself. In addition, I have been free from major injuries and illnesses, which I am truly grateful for. If you would like to know more about any particular part of the mission, please send me a message and I'll be happy to share.

I want to conclude with a beautiful composition which was written for me by Louis Muhereza, one of the members of Holy Trinity Community in Bisanje (shared with permission). It sums up so perfectly the emotions and experiences of the past three months, and each of you may even be able to apply it to this earthly mission that is life. Thanks, Louis! Enjoy!

Good Bye - Welcome

The day you landed into a new land, we said welcome, Webale Kujja, feel at home and settle here with us. The people welcomed you, warmly and made this your new home. It's been months since you left home, it seems like ages and at times you even forgot what the home you left was like. We made this your home away from home, and under the service of the Lord all homes are the same.

But even when you landed, a date was already set for you to return. But it's been months, never bothering about the date, you settled in, savored the love, the new relationships and the good the country offered. You never talked about going back and even when you did it was just in passing, like it was ages away from happening.

Time flies, the ages now turned to days and then hours, it dawns on us that you have to leave; the date fast approaches, the evening hours of your stay have come.

All of a sudden, you develop a sudden overwhelming rash in your body. The adrenaline is pumping and the nostalgia kicks in. You start thinking of home and how it will be like after months of being away. It seems like it's so many days until it happens but my friend, you can cheat anything, people, but you can never cheat time. The day is here.

Then you start to look at the people around you, the bond you have created, the new friendships you have enjoyed and laughed with, the time you spent with the community, the children and the life you shared.

A sadness now engulfs you. You feel sad and you almost want to cry or even cry. A lump in your throat doesn't want you to say goodbye even though it's only for now. The word goodbye alone sends shivers through your body and tickles your eyes to water.

Mindful that the people feel the same way, you hug them passionately. The small children cry, "Bye, Mzungu!" You have no escape; a tear runs down your cheek, you quickly clean it off, feeling sad that they are feeling sad. You loved them, but you have no choice for you have to go. Inside you seem to say, "If it was in my power, I would stay."

All you do now is promise them you will come again; it's the only way to give them hope and comfort but some don't want to know or hear it. All they want is at least another day with you. The old take it with hope, and cannot wait for you to come again. They cannot wait for another day you will write to them saying, "I'm coming back again." They are actually envisioning it, reacting to it in imagination and welcoming you back again.

It pains to leave a people, a community that you have shared with a lot, learnt with and laughed with and had a lot of fun and warmth around. But truth is, life has to go on. You have to go. The journey is a short one. But when you think of the joyful moments, the laughter, the screaming, happiness, the shared meals, the children and how you enjoyed teaching and learning from them, the smiles and the name Mzungu wherever you passed from both young and old, you cannot help but let the tears flow down your cheeks; you don't even dry them. You are alone in that moment oblivious of the person seated next to you on the plane; you let the tears of joy, happy memories and images play in your mind like you are there with them...Oh! How beautiful, how lovely, how....BOOM!

The intercom runs, waking you up from your sweet dream; it's the stewardess telling you to buckle up and get ready for landing. oh! God you want to cry out but no please; it's now the WELCOME signs that greet you. It's a different story...another happiness and joy engulfs you....now not of the goodbyes but of the welcome you receive....