What Not to Do.

Last night I went to 6pm Mass at the Newman center with Matt. He didn’t make it to my send-off party and, loving the Fitz brothers as much I do, I just had to meet up with him once more before I left and say a proper goodbye.

(It was kind of reminiscent of the time we all went to morning Mass with Ken before he took off on his first African adventure.)

We spent a few minutes in Adoration after Mass, and then headed to our cars. Matt asked what he could pray for, in particular, and I asked prayers for docility, and of course safety…..that I wouldn’t do anything stupid.

What I failed to ask for is that Matt begin praying these prayers BEFORE I actually leave….

We got in our respective cars and parted ways. So...I’m driving down University and I see this guy in the back of a pick-up truck leaning into the truck’s window to talk to the driver as they drive. I said – out loud, I believe – something to the effect of, “If he gets in an accident, he’s really in trouble! Lord, please protect him.” At that, he sat down.

Then, I turned onto Price. Normally, I would peek and see what traffic looked like before deciding whether I just wanted to take the access roads home. But instead, I mindlessly got onto the freeway, before realizing that it was terribly congested. Apparently, there were at least 2 accidents. I decided I would get right back off at the next exit. Unfortunately, this didn’t happen as quickly as I would have liked. It was all stop-and-go and, at least once, I slammed on my brakes and thought to myself, “That’s all I need – to get in an accident 2 days before my trip.”

And then this happened….

Yep.

I can’t say the Lord didn’t warn me.

(But I can say I am reminded of the time a certain unnamed person got injured playing basketball just before he went to Africa. I swear I wasn’t trying to one-up him.)

Thankfully, I hit a Christian. At least, I know his son was a Christian. I hit an older gentleman, following whom I assumed to be his son (we can call him Larry). After pulling over, Larry immediately jumped out of his car, checked on his dad, then came over to my car and said, “Are you okay?” Apart from my being absolutely mortified, I didn’t have a scratch on me. (Thank you, God!). I apologized, and he said, “Cars can be fixed. Are you okay?” His kindness certainly took the edge off.

Just then, a highway patrolman pulled up behind me. No one had called him. (Thank you, God!). He got our info and started doing his thing.

Somewhere in the course of my conversation with Larry, I mentioned that I was leaving the country on Friday for a mission trip. He asked where, and shared that his son had just returned from a two-year mission to Japan. I tried to continue the conversation. However, at this point, I was on the verge of tears because I was grieving over my car and frustrated with myself and afraid I would owe money, etc. And yet! I didn’t want to miss a perfectly good opportunity to share the Faith.

Yeah….

Hi, I’m Lindsay. I just smashed your back bumper and possibly injured your father. Let me tell you why I love being Catholic!

EVANGELIZATION FAIL!

Ladies and gentleman, don’t try that at home.

I look at my car now and think, “Lord, what’s the purpose of this?” I could speculate that it is spiritual warfare. Maybe. I could blame Matt for eating dinner instead of praying for me. He probably was. :) I could beat myself up for doing something stupid. But I’ll refrain…

Most of all, I thank God for His protection (probably in answer to all of your prayers), and I hope he will help me (and you!) to learn from this experience, especially to learn to heed His voice. I thank God for the kindness of “Larry”, and I pray that He will heal his father of any injuries and make him better than he was before. I thank God for the gift of a sense of humor.

And I thank Him that I am not driving to Uganda.

And to you, Cujo, they tell me they might have to put you to sleep. You have been a trusty friend. You might have an awful paint job, but you've always been there for me. You will be missed.

Into the Unknown

Who is the patron saint of the unknown? 

Anybody know? ;)

I guess maybe the question is a bit strange….

The past few weeks have been a roller coaster. Let’s just look recap Sunday to Sunday:

• Baptism of my friend’s baby, and then reception. JOY!!!! I love this kid!
• Last Life night at St. Tim’s for a few months. So sad! I’m going to miss the CORE and the teens so much!
• Meeting with Jake to help me get my act together
• Spiritual direction to help me get my act together
• Dad’s birthday – Yay!
• Crying on the way to work – that’s always fun – especially when it’s right before a party they are about to throw for you to send you off on mission
• I miss my friend – I’m going to miss these people – I’m afraid – I don’t want to be alone – I DON’T KNOW WHAT I’M FEELING!!!!
• Party time – quick, turn this frown upsidedown
• What's going to happen to me in Africa? Hmm….
• Babysitting: always uplifting! J
• Text spiritual director: “Please say an extra prayer for me! I feel so unsettled!”
• Send-off party – So good to see everyone!
• Workshop on healing and deliverance
• Maybe that last one is related, but I definitely feel much more at peace now :)

For several days, I was feeling so much unrest. It was unusual. I tried to explain this to my friend, Robert, who had sensed this and said it disturbed him as well. He noted that my attitude toward this mission seemed different than the others. I agreed, saying that I have twice been on international missions and I have also previously joined a religious community, and in all those instances, I felt peace, joy and great excitement, even when I was entering into it with the intention of committing my whole life. Yet, this time, when I am going to Uganda for 3 months (not a lifetime), I felt sad and afraid and other emotions I couldn’t even identify. (PMS? Indigestion? Anticipatory side effects of anti-malarials?)

On Thursdays, I work as a janitor at the City of the Lord community center. As I mentioned, they threw a little party for me to send me off, and as part of that they prayed over me. One of them invoked the intercession of St. Joseph, as someone who took a mission to a foreign land for the sake of Christ, asking him to go with me and protect me. I thought, yes, that’s what I desire: a protector. This same person stopped as she was leaving work and said, “God has his own plans for this mission.”

Perhaps that’s it.

This time, I am stepping into the unknown. On past mission trips, someone else always organized all the activities, and I just had to show up and follow directions. Furthermore, I have always had someone to go with and/or someone I would be with the whole time, someone who had some familiarity with the country or culture. And, typically, there was always a man around….or a group….or a group of men (ones that I knew and trusted, or ones that people I trusted knew and trusted). All of that combined makes for a pretty spectacular safety net.

This time, my brother is coming for two weeks, but after that….I don’t yet know who I will pal around with. I haven’t yet met the woman I’m going to be living with. I don’t know how often I will need to travel around by myself. I don’t know exactly what I’ll be doing each day, because I’m relying on God to direct me as I go. I don’t know much.

But God does. The unknown is not unknown to God. (Psalm 139)

He has been very generous in providing for this mission, and I trust that He will continue to be. He knows what He wants me to do each day, and I trust that He will let me know what I need to know when I need to know it. I will show up, and do my best to follow directions. Because I know that God is with me….and I know that St. Joseph will be too…..(and St. Alphonsus, through whom I am praying a novena right now)…..to be my father, my protector, and my guide.

St. Joseph, patron saint of the unknown, pray for me.

And now for the real story....

If you give a girl a muffin....

....she will want some tea to go with it.

So you'll bring out some black tea.

She will ask you for some honey to put inside.

This will remind her of the hot milk and honey a friend once gave her in Uganda.

She will probably start to cry. 

When you ask her why she is crying, 

she will tell you it is because she has no matooke to eat.

She will probably ask you for some. 

And since you can't get matooke in America, 

you will have to travel to Uganda.

She will want to come with you.

So you'll go online and look at airfare.

She will want to use her frequent flyer miles, 

so she will insist on flying Delta.

When she sees the Delta logo, she will remember the odd-shaped triangular tea bags in your box of Chai Tea.

She will probably ask you for some.

And chances are....

if you give her the tea, 

she is going to want a muffin to go with it.